How to Break the Fear Habit
Imagine lying in your bed, wide awake, thinking about future problems.
- “What am I going to do about ___?”
- “If he says this, should I say that? Or this? Or ?”
- “Maybe we should be worried about ___?”
- “How can I stop ___ from happening?”
- “What will I do if ___ comes true?”
- “Will we be safe?
- “How will I survive if ___?”
Unfortunately, this kind of future thinking does not help you. It’s a bad habit as the more you think like this, the more fear you feel.
Constant focus on bad potential events ruins your sleep, drains your energy and reduces your joy in life.
Fortunately, you can break this bad habit, right now.
A Good Habit to Reduce Your Fear
Instead of thinking about the future, shift your attention to the present moment. Be here now.
“The very, very sane confront the present entirely and have very little concern for the future, being competent enough in handling the present to let the future take care of itself.” — L. Ron Hubbard
When you deal with the present moment, and let the future take care of itself, this type of fear disappears! It’s a valuable habit for you to form.
10 Benefits
Shifting your attention from future fears is a habit you can form. As a result, you enjoy benefits like these.
- Increased mental clarity: When you’re not distracted by worries about the future, your mind is free to concentrate fully on what matters now.
- Improved decision-making: Being present allows you to analyze your current situation more clearly and make better choices.
- Greater productivity: When you’re focused on the task at hand, you accomplish more with less stress.
- Emotional stability: By confronting the present moment, you learn to handle challenges without negative emotions.
- Better relationships: Staying present improves your communication and love for others.
- Improved physical health: You reduce your stress-related health issues like high blood pressure, fatigue, pain and tension.
- Greater self-confidence: You feel more capable of facing whatever comes next.
- Increased creativity: A clear and present mind increases your ability to create new solutions, new products and new goals.
- Stronger sense of control: You may not control the future, but addressing the present helps you feel empowered and proactive.
- Better sleep: Letting go of future worries makes it easier to relax and fall asleep.
Five Steps to Replace the Fear Habit
- Pick a fear you want to handle.
- Notice how the thing you are afraid might happen is not happening now. It is in the future.
- Now move your attention into the present. Use any of the 20 methods below as a replacement habit.
- Notice how the fear is reduced or gone. Enjoy the benefits!
- Create a habit. Whenever you feel a fear, simply shift your attention to the present, every time. Don’t forget!
To be happy, powerful and successful, you need to focus on present time. You need to BE in present time.
The following slides describe 20 ways you can get focused on present time. Use them to free up your attention from the past, dissolve your fears about the future and enjoy your life in the present.
Try each tip to see which ones work best for you. Repeat them to constantly sharpen your present-time focus and power.
Focus on the present time moment by looking around you. Look up, look down, look all around.
Notice how everything you see is in present time.
Look around you as if nothing else exists. There is no past, no future, no thinking, just present time.
You make better progress toward a goal by looking at the step in front of you. Focus exclusively on this single step.
Do not think about past steps. Ignore the next steps. Don't think about the goal.
As you do the task, think about nothing else. Give it 100% of your attention.
Focus on the present by doing little or nothing at all. Just stop all activity and relax.
Do not think or plan. Do not remember anything. Have no emotion.
Simply experience the present moment as it is.
Don’t be so serious.
Disconnect from the past. Don't worry about the future. Just have fun and you'll be in present time.
Life is just a game. Be here now and play it to win!
Do you wish you were somewhere else else? If so, this causes stress for you.
Change your mind and decide it’s completely okay with you to be right here, right now.
The stress and desire to be elsewhere vanishes once you move all of your attention into present time.
Pay attention to the quiet spots between sounds. If your space or mind is full of noise, notice the moments of silence that are also in there.
Silence is in present time. When you hear it, you are also in present time.
With practice, the silence becomes interesting and soothing. You are then in present time.
The physical world is always in the here and now. You enjoy it more when it is clean and orderly.
Spend some time with your possessions. Wash them, organize them and get rid of all clutter.
Totally immerse yourself into the physical universe and enjoy the present moment.
Instead of you moving through time, sit in present time and watch the world move in front of you.
Pretend you are a king or queen sitting on your throne. Everything and everyone parades in front of you. You simply sit on your throne in present time.
As the king or queen of your world, you observe and interact with these life activities, as you wish. Your position in time is always NOW.
You may feel negative emotions from memories of people who made you angry, sad, fearful or apathetic.
If you forgive these people, privately to yourself, you can free yourself from their influence. You can take one simple step to eliminate the negative feelings.
Mentally forgive them and wish them well so you can move on to a better life in present time.
Everything in nature, including all animals and plants, are always in present time.
They are not burdened by emotional baggage, worries about the future or obsessive thinking.
Watching, enjoying and interacting with nature is a wonderful way to bring your focus into the present and improve your mood.
The moment you help someone focus on present time, you magically arrive in the present moment, as well.
Three examples:
1. “Jill, did you notice the sky? What color IS that?”
2. “Hi Jack, I like that tie. Does it feel like silk?”
3. “Okay, team. Let's wake up now. Everyone clap five times. Good. Do it again but LOUDER!"
Use any of your senses to get focused on present time.
For example, eat a delicious, healthy snack. Carefully taste it. Savor each individual flavor. Slowly chew and swallow it. Enjoy everything about it.
Listen to sounds, focus on smells, feel objects, gaze at objects, enjoy everything around you.
Set up a phone or computer notification to remind you to focus on present time. It can be every hour or at random times.
Have it ask you, “How am I doing?” or “Where is your attention” or “Hey Joe! Focus on present time buddy.”
A regular reminder can be a terrific way to master this skill.
You can enjoy waiting in traffic, waiting for your turn and waiting on others if you turn them into present-time opportunities.
When you have to wait, look at the world as if you are seeing it for the first time. Persist until you feel wonderful.
Use this with all tedious tasks, like recovering in bed, exercising or sitting in a boring meeting. You may never be bored again.
If your attention gets stuck on a mistake or bad act you have done, forgive yourself.
Say to yourself “I made the best decision I could, at that time. I did what I did. I have no excuses. I forgive myself."
Decide what you will now do differently. Focus on present time and do it.
You wear many hats: work hat, home hat, parent hat, party hat, cleaning hat, financial hat, etc.
If you wear a hat or two that are not needed right now, you lose your focus.
To focus on present time, wear just ONE hat at a time.
Do something that snaps you into present time.
For example, a cold shower, rock climbing, practicing a sport, performing a difficult procedure, playing a musical instrument, speaking to a group, Samurai sword fighting, etc.
Immediately after the activity shifts your attention in the present, keep it there for as long as you can after the event is over.
Concentrate on your breathing or heartbeat or both. After several minutes, your attention arrives in present time.
If your mind wanders off, refocus on your breath or heart.
This method works not because of some magical quality, but because your body is always in the present.
Most people automatically react to bad things that happen to them. They back away in fear, get angry or feel crazy.
So when you are faced with a difficult situation, quickly focus on present time. Instead of allowing a negative emotion to take over, say to yourself, “Wait! I need to focus on present time before I act.”
As a result, you are calm and alert. You deal with the situation in a positive, sane way. (See article below.)
When you are not sure what to do about a problem, take a break. Focus your attention on present time instead.
Enjoy being in present time. Avoid thinking. Don't worry.
A terrific solution appears on its own.
NOTE: If you cannot shift your attention into the present, the problem may be with hidden memories. Learn more with this video.