Ten Ways to Be Charismatic
If you have charisma (personal magnetism or charm), people want to be around you, listen to you and help you. They want to agree with you, follow your advice and stay on your good side. You have people power.
Below are ten recommendations for building up this important skill.
1. Like people.
Have a desire for them to be happy and successful. You can do this with almost anyone.
If you have no respect or admiration for someone, you cannot be truly charismatic around them.
Create and upgrade all relationships by automatically liking everyone you meet. Even if you do not know the person, treat him or her like an old, dear friend. “It’s so good to meet you June!” “Thanks for coming, Jose.” “Hello Rapunzel!”
2. Treat everyone as your equal.
Do not regard people differently because of their wealth, education or status.
For example, do not talk down to kids, waitresses, salespeople or old people. Treat everyone as equals.
Do not put people on a pedestal either. Be respectful, but respect them as equals. For example, wealthy people, celebrities and executives.
3. Reduce the fluff in your conversations.
Lots of chatter does not make you charismatic. If you have nothing relevant or important to say, remain silent.
When you restrict the words you say, whatever you have to say is more interesting. If you have something important to say, stay quiet and wait to say it. And then people will stop talking and listen to you.
4. Listen when others speak.
Make eye contact, nod and smile. Give them your full attention.
Take an interest in their conversations. Make small comments so they know you are listening and interested in what they have to say.
5. Make physical contact.
Shake hands whenever possible. Pat shoulders and backs. A brief touch on the upper arm shows you like the person.
Hugs can be very charismatic or uncomfortable. Only give hugs when appropriate and if you feel like it.
6. Be yourself.
When you mimic others, you not only appear insincere, you hurt your reputation.
When you be yourself, you are more relaxed and honest. This makes you happier and more charismatic. Of course, you need to show the good side of your personality which means having good intentions for people.
7. Remember and use people’s names.
When you first meet them, repeat their names to help you remember them and to show you like them.
For example: “Hi Alex, I’m Lisa.” Use the person’s name during the conversation. “So Alex, are you enjoying the weather?” Say it again when you say goodbye. “Nice to meet you Alex!”
8. Praise people behind their backs.
Whenever the subject of another person pops up in conversation, think of something good to say. Never have a bad word to say about anyone.
If you criticize people, you appear deceptive and insincere. Praising people behind their backs shows you are trustworthy. If you never gossip, people know their secrets are safe with you.
9. Do not lie.
The truth eventually comes out or you contradict yourself. The instant you get caught in a lie, all your charm and charisma is ruined.
Instead, face the consequences of telling the truth and do it quickly. For example, “I’m sorry; I just made a mistake.” Bang! It’s over with. Nothing to hide. Your reputation may be slightly tarnished temporarily, but not destroyed.
10. Compliment people.
Find things you like about people and tell them. Raise their self-esteem.
Your praise must be honest and sincere. If you are creative with your complements, your sincerity comes through and adds to your charisma. Examples:
“Your hair looks nice” is fine, but “Your hair is glowing today” is better.
“Good job” is fine, but “Wow! Perfect! Thanks.” is better.
“I enjoy talking to you” is good, but “Just talking to you makes me happy” is better.
Learn more
How to Be a Great Person
Use Good Manners
Why Lie?
How to Be More Popular