Control, Part Five
To Succeed, Let Others Control You
Sometimes you need to be controlled. You need to do what certain people tell you to do. It’s actually a control skill that, for some people, is difficult to master, but important to success.
How do you feel when people give you orders or directions? Do you like it? Hate it? Welcome it? Resist it?
For example, if you are a busy professional or executive, you probably need staff members to control your time. They schedule your appointments or control where you go and who you see. If you don’t let them control your time, you can become overwhelmed and inefficient.
As another example, if you get cancer, you can beat it if you let your medical team tell you what to do.
“Control is so far from being bad that a person who is sane and in very good condition does not resent good, positive control and is himself able to administer* good, positive control to people and objects.” — L. Ron Hubbard (*administer: provide, dispense, give)
Do You Hate Being Controlled?
If yes, your life is full of problems. You seem to have more difficulties controlling others. You may become ill and fail, as a result.
For example, Joe asks his wife to handle the family finances. Yet when she tries to control Joe’s irresponsible spending, he doesn’t care what she says. He spends the money however he likes.
As a result, the couple’s credit goes bad. They can’t afford food. He tries to control his spending, but he just can’t help himself.
They constantly fight. They blame money problems for their marriage problems, but the real problem is with Joe’s inability to be controlled.
“A person who is not in very good condition resents even the most casual directions and is actually not capable of controlling people or objects. The latter person is also inefficient and has many difficulties with work and with life.” — L. Ron Hubbard
You see examples of this every day.
How Jay Became Homeless
Jay has always hated being bossed around.
While growing up, he was always difficult with his parents and teachers. So, they convince him to join the Army to learn how life works.
Before he reports for duty, Jay changes his mind because he hates being bossed around.
He tries to work at a car dealership but leaves because he hates being bossed around.
He fails at several other jobs as he hates being told what to do.
He tries driving a truck but can’t stand it when his shippers try to control him.
Jay decides he prefers the freedom of homelessness. He lives in on the street where no one bosses him around.
Are You Similar to Jay?
If you dislike being controlled, you probably feel a reactive irritation or anger when someone tries to control you.
You may think being controlled is a sign of weakness or failure. You see no benefit to being controlled.
You may also find it hard to accept help. After all, if you want someone to help you, you must also let them control you.
When you can accept control, you can also receive genuine, valuable help. You move up! You become more successful!
Receiving Good, Positive Control
Positive control is not forced on you. You do not give up control of your life. You are not a slave.
Instead, you trust that the person wishes you success, not harm. You know his or her control is for your benefit.
Positive control from others can improve all parts of your life.
Ten Examples
1. A basketball player needs help with his shooting and lets his coach control his practice routine.
2. A business owner who can’t keep employees accepts help from a consultant and lets the consultant guide his team management methods.
3. A woman lives through a heart attack and lets a nutritionist control her diet and help her with her bad habits.
4. A good accountant controls you by stopping you from using an illegal tax scheme and to follow the tax laws.
5. An employee wants to keep her job and lets her boss control her schedule and her training.
6. A professional singer lets his agent control his concert schedule.
7. When you are a customer, you let the restaurant staff control your meal.
8. As a citizen, you take part in an orderly society when you follow the laws established by your government representatives.
10. Spouses give and accept control from each other to constantly improve their marriage, health, finances, possessions and family members.
Read “Control, Part Six” to organize the four types of control in your life.