Everyone is Important
People love and appreciate you when you make them feel important. People you work with, such as customers or clients, are more cooperative when they believe you have a high opinion of them. Colleagues, coworkers, friends and family members give you more support when you make them feel important.
Certain people are very sensitive about their importance. They have a self-importance problem and are upset or angered if you treat them with less importance than they feel they deserve. In many cases, the less money, skill or power they have, the greater their need to feel important.
Giving or granting importance to others is a skill you can use to boost goodwill and cooperation with anyone. If you make people feel important, they trust you, believe you and like you.
How to Make Others Feel Important
First, realize the amount of importance in this universe is unlimited. In other words, no matter how much importance you give to others, you do not lose any of your own.
Second, the worst thing you can do is go around being important. Trying to make people respect you and grant you importance. You gain nothing valuable when you make others feel less important than you, but lots to gain by making them feel important.
“Asserting one’s own importance is about as acceptable as a dead cat at a wedding.” — L. Ron Hubbard
Another skill you must adopt is to notice everyone. Pay attention to them.
“Ignore people at your peril.” — L. Ron Hubbard
Never assume anyone is unimportant.
For example, salespeople rarely get past receptionists when they treat receptionists like they do not exist. Similarly, if a receptionist ignores someone because he looks like a salesman, she may later discover she is in trouble for treating a VIP poorly.
Contrary to what you may have learned as a teenager, if you ignore people, they do not admire you. Instead of making the person respect or like you, they despise and hate you. Arrogance gets you nowhere.
For example, your greatest enemies might have been neutral until you ignored them or disrespected them. “Did you see how he pretended I was not in the room? What a jerk! I won’t forget this.”
Insincere flattery and baseless praise do not work either. Most people are not that gullible and they regard flatterers as liars.
Two Recommendations
1. Boost your own opinion of yourself. It is hard to like people if you dislike yourself. Do whatever it takes to raise your self confidence.
If you do not like something about yourself, either change it or stop criticizing yourself about it. For example, you say “Every time I look at my messy desk, I realize I’m a lousy manager.” If so, stay late and clean it up.
As another example, you might dislike yourself because of your fears. “I don’t like how I’m afraid of my boss” or “I’m such a weakling because I can’t say NO to my friends” or “I hate that I get so nervous in meetings.”
In this case, exercise some mental control and change your idea. In other words, knock it off.
2. Convey a high opinion of others in your speech, body language and intentions. Answer every call, email and text as if its your mother or the governor. Grant them importance no matter who they are.
Give people your full attention and really listen to them. Anticipate their needs. Use your best manners. Treat each person you see as an important person even if the person is stupid, has a sour attitude or works for a group you despise.
“People have value and are important. Big or small they are important.” — L. Ron Hubbard
As a result, they love you for it. Big shots, amateurs, minorities, kids, opponents, ugly people, old people, obnoxious people and everyone else is important. If nothing else, they are alive and doing their best. They deserve your attention, admiration and respect.
With practice, you can even make people feel wonderful by granting them importance with just a glance or a single word! For example, you make homeless Joe feel great just by saying, “Hi.” You make every cashier feel like a million bucks. Everyone you know wants to hang out with you.
Such a skill gives you boundless respect, cooperation and friendship.