How to Be Liked and Admired​

Even though it’s a bad idea to make praise and approval your goal in life, people still need to like you. If people like you, success is much easier. If people dislike you, you are going to fail.

So how do you get people to like you?

A bad solution is to pretend to be someone you are not. For example, Joe pretends to be from England and talks with a British accent. He thinks it will help him get a girlfriend. Jane meets Joe and thinks he’s interesting because of his accent. However, when Jane finds out Joe has never been to England, she can’t trust Joe and no longer likes him.

Another bad idea is to be rude or disagreeable. You think, “When people are nasty to me, I want to make them like me. So, I’ll go around being nasty to people.” Of course, being mean to people just makes them afraid of you. They do not like you very much.

Another bad solution is to beg for admiration. You ingratiate yourself to people, meaning you bow down and kiss their feet. It does not make them like you. For example, on Jill’s first day on the job, she tells her boss, “Even though I’ve just met you, I can tell you’re absolutely brilliant! I’ve never worked for a boss as awesome as you. I will do anything you want me to do, just ask.” Her boss instantly dislikes her.

Trying to make people like you usually makes them like you less. However, doing the opposite, actually works!

“DON’T DESIRE TO BE LIKED OR ADMIRED. Don’t give a darn, because if you start giving a darn you won’t be liked or admired.” — L. Ron Hubbard

The Solution

“The only way, really, to be liked or admired is to not care if you are liked or admired but to act most any way you please. And you’ll be surprised at how many people will like and admire you.” — L. Ron Hubbard

For example, you meet a new customer who acts like a big shot. You want him to like you, but he won’t even look at you. He just gives you orders. So you don’t give a darn and just act like yourself. The customer starts to like you.

As another example, you want to meet a lot of people for fun. You once felt you needed to get drunk and act like an idiot so you would fit in. But now you decide to just go to a party and not drink or act silly. You find you have much more fun as you are just being yourself. You notice more people want to talk to you.

Another good example is when you are a boss. You want your staff members to like you, but giving them raises or being really nice to them actually makes you less popular. So you decide to not care if your staff likes you or not; you’ll just make them do a good job. You take control, give orders and make sure the work is done properly. Your people are soon the best performers in the group and everyone makes more money, as a result. You are very popular.

Recommendation

Whenever you feel the need to be liked or admired, don’t give a darn. Be honest, be yourself and do whatever you feel is right. Act any way you please and watch the results.