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Do you ever say “Yes” when you really want to say “No”? 

Of course, it depends on the request. For example, it’s hard to say “no” to simple requests like these:

  • “Can you press on this string so I can finish tying the knot?”
  • “Do you have a minute to help me pick the best design?”
  • “Can you sign this petition to get more government money for homeless kids?”

How about bigger requests like these? Are these easy for you to say “No”?

  • “Can you give me a ride to the airport?”
  • “Can I borrow $5000?”
  • “Let’s have sex right now. I promise you won’t get pregnant.”
  • “Are you available to help me move to my new house?”
  • “I’m your best customer! Give me a 50% discount, okay?”

If you say “Yes” when you should say “No” to even bigger requests, you not only waste valuable time or money, you can feel like a foolish sucker. As a result, your life can get much worse. Examples:

  • “Help me finance my new start-up business, okay? We’ll be partners!”
  • “You need to stop doing your job and do mine instead, got it?”
  • “You’re not THAT drunk; just drive yourself home.”
  • “If you pay us a monthly tribute, your store won’t get robbed.”
  • “It’s just a little cocaine; give it a quick sniff. Only idiots get addicted.”

Fortunately, you can learn to successfully say “No” in all situations.

Learn How to Say “No”No

If you manage finances for a business or organization, people constantly ask you to say “yes.” However, if you agree to every financial request, your group goes broke.

Even if you do not manage a group’s finances, you ARE the financial manager of your personal finances. You also need the ability to say “no” to financial requests.

“It is up to a financial manager to be very, very, very tough and to learn how to say no, no, no, no. In fact, it would be a very good thing if he stood in front of a mirror for ten or fifteen minutes a day saying `no.’” — L. Ron Hubbard

That’s right! Just say “No” in front of a mirror.

At first, it might be difficult. But after 10-15 minutes of practice, saying “No” gets much easier. With enough practice, you master this skill.

A fantastic benefit of mastering this skill is you can use it for personal requests, time demands, self discipline, peer pressure and more.

The ability to say “No” puts you in control.

Action Step Recommendations

1. Select a situation when you should say “No.”

2. With this situation in mind, say “No” to a mirror for 10-15 minutes. Do this alone.

At first, it might be difficult, but keep the situation in mind and persist.

You can say “No” in different ways to improve your ability. Examples:480 F 549550453 LnV9UQalTjxvcQAbu1eQp4sBOG9VESBD

  • With a smile
  • With an angry face
  • While singing
  • Being blunt
  • Being sarcastic
  • Being fearful
  • Silently shaking your head
  • With a loud voice
  • With a soft voice
  • With your normal voice

3. Keep saying “No” to the mirror until you are ready and confident to do it in real life.

4. Take action! Go say “No” in that situation.

5. If you have trouble saying “No” after doing these steps, read “How to Increase Affinity, Reality and Communication for Yourself.” And then repeat the above steps.

6. Repeat these Action Steps for all situations where you should say “No.”

Show 20 Examples of "No" Situations"

20 Examples of “No” Situations

Money

  • “What would it take for you to give $___ to me?”
  • “If you don’t act now, you will never get another chance!”
  • “I’m desperate. You have to give me $___!”
  • “You can have a 10% discount if you pay today.”
  • “Don’t be silly. Everyone trusts me. You have nothing to worry about.”
  • “Buy it now and I’ll give you three bonus gifts!”
  • “If you don’t like it, I’ll give you a 100% refund and you keep the three bonus gifts.”

Time

  • “C’mon. Let’s sneak out and go have some fun!”
  • “I just need a single day from you. How about Saturday?”
  • “I know you’re no longer the ___, but we need you to ___ anyway.”
  • “Will you do this project for me? It won’t take long.”
  • “If you are still grateful to me for helping you last year, you’ll go to this meeting, okay?”
  • “We have a horrible situation here that you must solve, okay?”
  • “Excuse me. Do you have a few minutes?”

Self-Control
Saying “No” to yourself might be the toughest skill of all, but well worth the effort. Use the same exercise with the mirror and you might be amazed at your new self-control powers.

  • “No, I won’t eat that box of chocolate donuts.”
  • “No, I will not use my credit card to buy that new phone.”
  • “No, I don’t smoke now.”
  • “No, it’s not time to quit working for the day.”
  • “No, I’m not done with this task; it’s not perfect yet.”
  • “No, I WILL reach my goals.”
Show 10 Ways to Soften the "No" Blow

10 Ways to Soften the “No” Blow

If you worry that just saying “No” might cause problems, one of these methods might work for you. They are polite ways of saying “No.”

  1. “Sorry, no. I just don’t have the ____ (time, money, interest, energy) for that now.”
  2. “Well, if I do this for you, what will you do for me?” “If you ___, I’ll be happy to do this for you.”
  3. “Thanks for asking me. I have to say “no” but feel free to ask me again.”
  4. “I’d love to ____ (give you a loan, help you move, etc.) , but I’m going to ____ (buy a car, take a trip, etc.).”
  5. “Not long ago I would have said “yes,” but now I have to say, “No.” I hope you understand.”
  6. “No . . . I wish there were two of me!”
  7. “Ha ha! (Laugh) No. I don’t have enough ___ (time, money, interest, energy).”
  8. “If I say ‘No’ will you be unhappy with me? Will you hate me? No? OK good. The answer is ‘No.’”
  9. “I know how you feel. I’ve felt that way myself. But I’ve found it’s better if ___.”
  10. “Wait! You want me to ___? Really? No, I can’t do that my friend.”

If someone is upset with you, despite your excellent manners, you did the right thing by refusing their request.