The Power of Responsibility
No One Wins the Blame Game
We have all blamed other people for our problems, at some point.
“My parents were alcoholics which is why I have a learning disability.”
“If the weather wasn’t so hot, I’d pay my bills.”
“See those people over there? They are ruining us.”
We blame our economy, our politicians, our bosses, our staff members, our parents and our enemies. We blame rich people, poor people, politicians, voters, scientists, religions and aliens from other planets. In fact, anyone who is different from us is a convenient target.
It would be great if blame worked! We could just point a finger and bang! Problem solved.
Yet no matter how hard we blame others, no matter how convincing our arguments, and no matter how many people agree with us, blame changes nothing. It does not boost our productivity, increase our income or help us to reach our goals. It’s a waste of time.
Blame is one of the top tools of anti-social personalities. They abuse people with blame. They take no responsibility for their evil acts, but simply blame others.
The news media also specializes in blame. After reading or hearing a few of their stories, you might feel enraged and agree to blame “those horrible people.”
In fact, blame not only fails to work, it wastes our time and stirs up our negative emotions. It even gives POWER to the things we blame.
“They’re ruining my mood!”
“They control our wealth!”
“They make me ill.”
Blame turns us into poor little whiney weak victims of these big mean horrible people.
When we cannot understand something, we try to blame it. When we fail at something, we resort to blame. When something scares us, we try to blame it.
Blame is simply a problem with . . . .
Responsibility
“All real difficulty stems from no responsibility.” — L. Ron Hubbard
Accepting responsibility solves your difficulties. It makes you successful.
“All real difficulties” can cover your problems with money, business, relationships, family, mood, work and your health.
When you take responsibility for something, it stops being a problem. You feel no need to blame anyone. You feel terrific and you start to succeed!
Fortunately, taking responsibility is easy and painless. Once you decide to be more responsible for yourself and EVERYTHING and EVERYONE around you, the hard part is over.
How to Take Responsibility
First, of all, when you take responsibility for a problem, you do not blame yourself. You do not build stress and suffer because of responsibility. You actually increase your power.
Simply ask yourself, “How do I cause this problem?”
“Full responsibility is not fault; it is recognition of being cause.” — L. Ron Hubbard
Recognizing how you are “cause” over the problem, and not “effect” of the problem, may be all you need to take responsibility for something. You stop being the victim and start being a powerful force for good.
For example, a manager says, “These guys don’t know how to do their work. They make me look bad.”
But then the manager thinks, “Okay, so how have I been the cause of this? Maybe it’s because I haven’t trained them.” Suddenly, the manager has a simple blameless solution.
As another example, a wife says, “My husband is an idiot. He’s not making enough money to pay our house loan payments. And it hurts my credit score!”
The wife then finds the solution. “Okay, so how have I caused this? Well, maybe if I didn’t insist we buy an expensive house we’d have enough. I guess I should be willing to get an extra job, or agree to a smaller house.”
Or let’s say your boss yells at you, “Who wasted all that money on this horrible ad campaign?”
At first, you want to blame the ad manager Harold, but instead you say, “I’m responsible. I caused it because I didn’t give Harold any help. I think we can fix it by Monday.”
Your boss is impressed.
More Methods
These 10 other ways to take responsibility are based on its definition.
“We can define responsibility as the concept of being able to care for, to reach or to be.”
“It includes guard it, help it, like it, be interested in it, etc.”
“It is willingness to own or act or use or be.” — L. Ron Hubbard
The 11 Ways to Take Responsibility
1. Responsible people recognize how they cause things.
2. They care for people around them.
3. They do not withdraw from difficulties, but reach out to solve them.
4. They can imagine how it is to be other people.
5. Responsible people guard the important things in their lives, such as friendships and business relationships.
6. They enjoy helping people.
7. They like all aspects of their lives: what they do, their connections, where they work and live, their paths and themselves.
8. They are interested in others.
9. They are willing to own anything.
10. They act when appropriate.
11. They use people, their assets and their power.
Blame Vs. Responsibility
Below are 11 statements of someone using blame and then taking responsibility.
1. Cause
Blame: “Hey! That guy sold me a bad car. He ripped me off! It won’t even start!”
Responsibility: “How did I cause this? Maybe if I’d gotten a mechanic to check it before I bought it. I should have been suspicious because the price was so low. Learned a good lesson here.”
2. Care
Blame: “That woman was so mad at me I just can’t work any longer. I’ll just quit for today and wait to make these calls until tomorrow when I’ll be feeling better.”
Responsibility: “How can I care for her? Well, she really was not mad at me, I think she’s just acting out a personal problem. I’m ready to work now.”
3. Reach
Blame: “I’m not making much money these days selling houses. Maybe if all the other real estate people would quit, I would sell more houses. I think I’ll tell everyone how slow business is. I need to convince them how difficult the real estate business is.”
Responsibility: “How can I reach out to other real estate agents instead of withdrawing from them. If we work together, we can all do well. In fact, we have hundreds of houses and thousands of customers to work with. There really is no competition.”
4. Be
Blame: “The electricity of off again! Stupid power company.”
Responsibility: “How can I be it? What would it be like if I was in charge of the power company. I imagine they get a lot of nasty calls.”
5. Guard
Blame: “My teen son’s an idiot. He won’t do his chores, he wastes his time playing video games and gives me crap.”
Responsibility: “How can I guard him? Well, I can guard him against bad advice from others. I can guard him against bad decisions. I think I’ll take him out to lunch and talk about this.”
6. Help
Blame: “The Smiths next door are ruining the neighborhood with their loud kids, dogs and weekend parties. Everyone hates them”
Responsibility: “How can I help the neighborhood? How can I help the Smiths? Oh, I can work out some agreements that make everyone happy. I love helping people at work, so why not help these people?”
7. Like
Blame: “My employees are lazy bums.”
Responsibility: “Do I like them? I guess they are trying to do a good job and I like them for that. They show up on time. They park where they are supposed to park. I guess they aren’t bums.”
8. Interested
Blame: “Thanks to the bad economy, times are rough for everyone. This explains why our production is down. Nothing we can do about it.”
Responsibility: “How could I solve this problem by becoming more interested? Ah, I know! I should do some surveys of my team and our customers. Maybe I can learn what is really going on with them.”
9. Own
Blame: “I’m upset because my friends don’t give me likes on Facebook. I like their pictures all the time! They are so unfair.”
Responsibility: “What can I own about this? I guess I can own my upset feeling. I can own my time and work on my online course, not my Facebook page. Ha! I feel a lot better and I’m going to accomplish something today”
10. Act
Blame: “If I hadn’t wasted my life being a housewife for my ungrateful ex-husbands, I’d have enough money to retire. Now I have to work as a waitress, just to get by and pay rent.”
Responsibility: “How can I take responsibility by acting on this? Well, I can try to find new income sources instead of watching six hours of TV each day. Any action is better than clicking the remote control.”
11. Use
Blame: “I’m so stupid. I should have left Amazon to help my buddy set up the Instacart shopping app! He’s already a millionaire, and I’m not.”
Responsibility: “What can I use to take responsibility? Well, I have a lot of computer knowledge I don’t use. I have a lot of contacts I’m not using. I can even swallow my pride and use my buddy. Why not?”
Three Action Step Recommendations
Everyone can be more responsible. In fact, you can never be TOO responsible.
Instead of playing the blame game, just ask yourself these 11 responsibility questions. You might be surprised how much power you gain with just a little more responsibility.
Action Step #1. Write down a challenge, problem or difficulty that you face.
Action Step #2. Ask yourself the 11 questions, like these examples, regarding that problem until you see how you can take more responsibility.
1. CAUSE IT: How have I caused this problem?
2. CARE FOR IT: What aspect of this problem can I care for?
3. REACH IT: Instead of withdrawing from it, how can I reach toward it?
4. BE IT: How can I be this difficulty?
5. GUARD IT: Is there something I can guard?
6. HELP IT: How can I help part of this problem?
7. LIKE IT: What do I like about this difficulty?
8. INTERESTED: What is interesting about this challenge?
9. OWN IT: How can I own the problem?
10. ACT: Can I take action?
11. USE IT: What can I use about the problem?
Action Step #3. Keep asking these questions and looking for ways to take responsibility.
BANG! A solution will magically appear! Use it.
Use this approach with every problem, challenge, difficulty, obstacle or barrier that is in your way.
Summary
You are responsible for your own condition.
Avoiding problems, blaming others or explaining away your difficulties gets you nowhere. Every business and individual who ever fails has dozens of explanations and people to blame. Yet they still fail. The real reason they fail stems from their lack of responsibility.
Accepting full responsibility for yourself and those around you makes working, managing and living much easier. You feel calmer and in better control. You have a distinct edge in the game.
It’s one of your best powers!
P.S. Imagine forming or upgrading a group where every member is fully responsible for the success of that group.