Self-criticism Does Not Help You Succeed
“You are treating yourself in present time much as you were treated by others in the past. And you punish yourself far more than anyone would ever punish you.” — L. Ron Hubbard
How have people treated you in the past?
Have you ever noticed that you treat yourself the same way?
Unless everyone has always treated you with respect and kindness, you might criticize yourself from time to time. And self-criticism or self-invalidation, ruins your success.
False Ideas
At some point, you may have accepted the following ideas to be true.
“If I cut myself down before anyone else cuts me down, I win!”
“I respect Joe’s opinion. Joe thinks I’m an idiot. So I must be an idiot.”
“If I punish myself, maybe others will leave me alone.”
Of course, ideas like these are nonsense.
True Ideas
To succeed, you need to treat yourself with respect and admiration. To succeed, you need a high opinion of yourself. You need to remember that you are a good person.
“Actually you are a giant tied down with cotton lint. You tied the knots and furnished the string and said where you’d lie.” “The cold, basic truth is that you are a vital and necessary part of this world.” — L. Ron Hubbard
Three Tips for Improving Your Opinion about Yourself
1. Every time you criticize yourself about something, add a solution. Decide on a way to fix the weakness. Focus on improvement instead of problems.
For example, “I’m so stupid! Why didn’t I ask him about his other company when I had the chance? No wonder I’m such a loser . . . wait, how can I fix this? From now on, I’m taking five minutes before each important meeting and writing a list of things to do so I don’t mess up again. Great idea!”
2. Write down things about yourself of which you are proud. If necessary, start with small things, such as good personal habits. Keep writing until you improve your opinion.
For example, “I might be fat, but I brush my teeth regularly. I’m eating more vegetables these days. I haven’t gotten angry at my kids for a month. I’m earning more money this year. I’m helping Joe with his drinking problem . . . .”
3. Recognize your mental criticism is not you. Just separating yourself a bit from the negative chatter can give you relief.
Fortunately, this reactive self-criticism can be sorted out and erased. If you are interested, click here to learn more.