The Fear Problem

Fear stops you from succeeding. It gets in your way. It prevents you from accomplishing your goals and living a better life.

Examples:

A talented young woman wants a career as a singer. She has an amazing voice and writes wonderful songs. However, she is terrified of performing in front of people, even on YouTube. So the world never hears her sing her songs.

A computer scientist loves to program phone apps, but is afraid of making mistakes and being criticized. He spends so much time looking for bugs he never releases any of his helpful apps.

A single woman wants to have a family and raise children, but she is afraid of men. Because of her fear, she never talks to men. Or maybe, she marries someone who is wrong for her, just because he does not scare her.

Fear comes in many forms. Any of them can ruin your success: fear of rejection, fear of being excluded, fear of paperwork, fear of angry people, fear of asking for money, fear of prison, fear of responsibility, fear of looking stupid, fear of hunger, fear of pain and so on.

If you want to run a business, you cannot be afraid of making important decisions.

If you want to be a doctor, you cannot be afraid of sick people.

If you want to succeed as an athlete, you cannot be afraid of hard, painful practice.

If you were afraid of nothing, what goals would you set? What could you accomplish?

The Best Way to Remove a Fear Is to Face the Fear

“Definition: Fear is a state of imperception*; fear is an unwillingness to confront.” — L. Ron Hubbard (*imperception = not perceiving; no awareness)

When something scares you, you cannot perceive it very well. You cannot look at it.

Therefore, to dissolve a fear, you must face it, confront it, experience it, be aware of it and look it in the eye. Until you do this, the fear persists.

Most people let their fears control them. You, however, can get your fears out of your way.

Bob’s Fear of a Promotion

For example, Bob is terrified of speaking in public. His boss says, “I’d like to promote you to the head of sales. You will need to give workshops to the sales team each week.”

Bob has five options:

1. Avoid it: “I don’t need a promotion.”
2. Ignore it: “I’ll think about it.”
3. Alter it: “The sales manager should not give workshops.”
4. Run away from it: “I’m going to take a two-month vacation.”
5. Face it: “I’ll get my wife to practice the workshop with me until I’m ready. It may take 10-15 hours, but I’ll do it!”

Only the last option dissolves Bob’s fear.

If he avoids, ignores, alters or runs from the fear, he fails. If he faces the fear, he succeeds. He becomes a successful sales manager.

What scares you? Which of these five options do you use to deal with it?

How Nancy Stops Being Afraid

Nancy is afraid of offending people. Because of her fear, she cannot get promotions or earn more pay. Instead, she is stuck in a low-paying, boring, computer typing job that she hates. Her fear controls her.

Nancy ignores conflicts. For example, a worker in the next cubicle plays loud music. Nancy gets some earplugs.

Nancy alters problems. For example, Nancy returns to her desk to see a co-worker looking in her desk drawers. The co-worker says, “I’m looking for a pen.” Nancy later notices $20 is missing. She alters the fact and says to herself, “I must have left the cash at home.”

Fortunately, Nancy decides to change her life and face her fears.

She walks over to the next cubicle, looks directly at the worker and says, “Please turn down the music.” The worker is stunned and turns off the radio.

Nancy then goes to the other co-worker and says, “I’m missing $20 that was in my desk before you went through it. Do you have it?” The co-worker says, “Oh, yes, I meant to ask, can I borrow it?” Nancy says, “Sorry, I need it today” and gets her $20 back.

Nancy feels great! She decides to go face her boss and ask for the management training she has always wanted.

You can do the same with any of your own fears. You might think facing a fear will make the situation worse. You might think that facing the fear might even kill you.

Yet letting fears control you is not a very fun life. Facing your fears makes life worth living.

How to Control Your Fears

When you look fear in the face, you gain strength, courage and confidence.

“To be happy, one only must be able to confront, which is to say, experience those things that are.” — L. Ron Hubbard

It takes work and courage to face your fears. If you persist, it gets easier. If you continue to face a fear, the feeling eventually disappears.

You take control, solve your fear problems and succeed!

Eight Steps to Controlling Any Fear

1. Pick one of your fears. It doesn’t need to be your biggest fear, just a fear to take control of.

2. Decide you will face this fear, sooner or later.

3. Imagine how it will be to eliminate this fear. Make a list of benefits you will earn and enjoy.

4. Break down the fear into small pieces or some tiny steps you can take to face the fear.

5. Take action with one tiny step! Face one of the small pieces. Even if you try and fail you are making progress.

6. Keep trying to face this one small part of the fear until you succeed.

7. Repeat with each part of the fear until the fear is no longer controlling you.

8. Persist for as long as it takes until the fear is no longer a problem for you.

Repeat with another fear.

Abdul Handles His Fear of Traffic

Abdul learned how to drive in his small home town where the roads are never crowded. People there would joke, “I had to wait for two cars and a tractor at a stop sign today. I hate these traffic jams!”

Because Abdul wanted to get wealthy, he found a job opening near a big city and decided to drive there for his first job interview. As he neared the city, he was shocked to see how busy the roads were. After five minutes of stressful driving, he started to sweat. His face turned white and he felt sick. He turned around and went home.

Because none of the jobs near his home would pay him very much, Abdul realized he would never get rich until he learned to drive in heavy traffic. So he followed the Action Step Recommendations and decided to face this fear.

He did Step 3 and imagined how wonderful it would be to drive in traffic without any fear. He wrote down the benefits. He could earn a lot of money! Facing this fear would help him find a wife and enjoy a beautiful home.

He broke down his fear into these parts:

* Go to a place near busy traffic and just look at it.
* Ride a bus in busy traffic.
* Drive toward a city until the traffic is stressful then leave.
* Drive toward a city until the traffic is stressful then drive around

He then did each tiny step and faced each small piece of his fear.

Abdul persisted until he could handle driving in heavy traffic. He was in control of driving despite his fear.

He landed a job that paid him very well.

Summary

What fear do you want to eliminate?

Follow the Eight Action Steps and solve your fear problems.

Your success becomes much easier.